On-Line Relationships, and a Beautiful Shawl

I was chatting with a friend online last night, and he told me his and his wife had separated. I told him I was sorry to hear it, and if he needed anything... all the right stuff to say, and I meant it. He said, no, it was amicable, and he was fine. Oh-kaaay. I thought that was odd, and didn't really believe him, until he said, "I've sort of been spending time with someone else." Oh. Well, there you are. Apparently the "someone else" is someone he met on-line, and chats with on-line, and is very happy with. You know what I think about meeting people on-line? I think about how I edit. I edit and edit on comments and blog entries, trying to get my thoughts just right, and not say something inadvertantly politically incorrect, something that could be read two different ways. I try to be soothing and funny and ooh and aah in the right spots. I try to be my very best self, the self I wish I could be when I say something stupid in person. I'm not saying I'm lying about who I am here. I'm not. This is really the best me, with most spots removed. This is what I give to people I meet online.

I was telling another friend on-line a year ago that I thought she was the most patient person. I was so impressed. In chat groups, people would say something so totally asinine, and she would laugh. I would be sitting here feeling rageful at some sexist or racist comment, and she'd blow it off. How do you do that? I asked. And she said she was actually cussing up a storm in her dining room, but then typed "LOL" and went on. So I got to thinking about relationships on-line, and for goodness sakes, you get to know someone in one way, but not in any others. What if you hook up after months of getting to know each other, and then find that they don't feel any need to close the bathroom door? Or possibly they're racist but it never came up? Or they hate cats? Does anyone - do you - know of an on-line relationship that worked? I'm really curious. I toyed at one point of trying to write a book on on-line relationships, but there are too many people involved. I mean, how do you research something that huge? The ones I have seen start have all ended with someone finding a person closer, and the other person being hurt. I'd love to hear a positive story about an on-line relationship. Leave yer comments! You may end up in a book someday!

And here's a picture Jennifer sent me of her Swallowtail shawl, the pattern by Evelyn A. Clark, Interweave Knits Fall 2006. She is using Misti Alpaca Laceweight in a kind of soft apple green. It's so pretty and springlike. I really like this pattern, too. I may end up a shawl maker in a big way. I didn't realize how much I would like it. Thanks, Jennifer! Your shawl's looking great!