Tuesday, October 02, 2007

I Yam what I Yam

You know, people always say to me that I shouldn't let others' opinions matter. I should be myself. I can't make everyone happy, and I have to stop trying, or I'll never be happy. Well, I'm 38 years old, and today I finally accepted that I am who I am. I am a people pleaser. To put me in a position where I have to confront someone is like – well, like agreeing that I'm about to give the house away. It's not a good idea, but I'm likely to do it, if I make someone feel badly enough.

That said, I try really hard to stick to the rules, follow the law, stand up for myself. And this morning, when a parent was getting – well, let's say a little vehement - about whether their child was too young for the drama club or not, I just handed the phone to my husband. As I said, I know my limitations. I could tell the conversation immediately got calmer, more reasonable, in a “Let's find a solution” kind of way. I am convinced that one of the great injustices of our world is that men can say things women can't. They command more respect, and when they say something, people are more inclined to believe them. I can't question the automechanic or request a parent/teacher conference without ticking someone off. My husband can come in with exactly the same wording, and people would nod sagely. I'm not irritated with him. It's not his fault. Still, without him, I'm pretty sure I'd be marked as that b*tchy person who can't just keep quiet. But 'nuff about that.

Drama club starts today! Woohoo! We're having tryouts this afternoon, and I'm really looking forward to it. (Kids don't care if you get goofy or are too loud, at least elementary age kids, the little darlins) We'll start out with the rules, don't talk when a director is speaking, be on time, et cetera. Then we'll move into inflection exercises, which are so much fun. You take a perfectly normal sentence, like, “I have to feed the dog,” and put emphasis on different words to change the emotion of the sentence. I have to feed the dog? I have to feed the dog! I have to feed the dog? It's fun, and it gets their little creative brains moving in a nonthreatening way. Then we'll go on to showing emotions with our bodies (kids love this one), elation, anger, sadness. All of these exercises are fun, and the kids hardly realize that they're being slowly drawn out to perform. By the time they do realize it, Hey Presto! Performing in front of your classmates isn't as bad as you thought.

Oh, and here's another exciting thing. I visited a rabbitry yesterday! Why, you ask? (Oh, I knew you were going to) Well, these little English Angora darlings now reside at our house. If they were any softer and cushier, you'd try to use them for a pillow. The kids think we got them for their 4-H group (heh heh). But you know who's going to get them when they go off to college, so this was an investment I was totally into. By the by, anyone want any angora bunny roving? I have a feeling we're going to have some...


12 comments:

LaurieM said...

It's good to accept who you are. So long as it works for you, there's nothing wrong with it. But do you ever find yourself in the bind of: "I'm a people pleaser, and to please people I should try harder to stand up for myself, but if I do it I will piss someone off...." A vicious circle.

AR said...

Yay, drama club!! It's a great thing you guys do for the kids. Without you and your hubby, there'd be no drama club for our elementary students. Yay, you!!

Your bunnies are so cute. I saw your mom at the store last night and she told me you got them. :)

del said...

It's always great when you know exactly who you are. It's not your fault that society at large sees outspoken women as b*tchy; that's just how it is. Still, I don't care. Call me a B...I'm going to get my point across (side effect of being so short, LOL).

The bunnies look totally squeezeable!

Mouse said...

OOOOOHhhh bunnies!! *squeeee~!* I really want angora bunnies so badly, because I both LOVE to spin angora and because I love bunnies too. I can't wait to see more about them in the future. They're ADORABLE!

Julie said...

Those bunnies are the cutest! I just want to reach into the monitor in snuggle them! Years ago (life before knitting & spinning) we had 2 angora bunnies; a sweet, sweet gray one and an evil, evil white one. I LOVE all animals, but this white one really was mean. Still loved her though :)

Carrie K said...

Happy Birthday!

It's good to know your limitations and it's true about a man saying something, infuriatingly enough.

Drama club sounds fun!

Janice said...

Drama club sounds great! And what a great way to invest in kids! Like you, my hubby often steps in to calm choppy waters. I don't think they invest as much emotionally as we do, so they have a little more outside perspective perhaps??? Who knows!! Life is a mystery sometimes!!
Loving the bunnies. That would be some yummy roving!!

Jennifer said...

It's good to know and accept who you are! I'm still working on that piece.

Drama club! How fun for you and for them!

Brigitte said...

Bunnies! *pat pat pat*

I hear you on being outspoken. I speak my mind, but working in the male dominated technology world, it can be hard to be heard. Let them think what they want... my actions back up my words.

RC said...

oohh the bunnies are so cute! I'll be happy to trade you homespun/knitted items for angora fiber.

Romi said...

OMG, the bunnies are soooooooo cute!

I have a problem saying "no" also. :sigh:

AJ said...

First of all I LOVE the bunnies and have to see them. We should get together!

Second - I have a distinct memory of standing in a parking lot after visiting a church (I was not there as a guest artist by the way, just visiting!)and Joe and a college friend had met up and we were talking. One of the guys from the church came over and all of them were into software design. In the middle of the conversation - the guy from church said in an apologetic, 'sweetheart' tone, "I bet you just glaze over when guys like us start talking about this computer stuff." With perfect timing and a smile I shot back, "No , I just glaze over when guys like you say things like that." Because of my tone and expression, I don't think he realized immediately what I had just said. My husband and his friend on the other hand were biting their lip HARD in an effort to keep from laughing. I was in simply in shock and had no idea I had that in me. So the moral is - you may know your limitations, but maybe there are times you shouldn't limit yourself! LOL

(I am so glad you posted on my latest blog... I know it's been a while since I wrote!)