You know, people always say to me that I shouldn't let others' opinions matter. I should be myself. I can't make everyone happy, and I have to stop trying, or I'll never be happy. Well, I'm 38 years old, and today I finally accepted that I am who I am. I am a people pleaser. To put me in a position where I have to confront someone is like – well, like agreeing that I'm about to give the house away. It's not a good idea, but I'm likely to do it, if I make someone feel badly enough.
That said, I try really hard to stick to the rules, follow the law, stand up for myself. And this morning, when a parent was getting – well, let's say a little vehement - about whether their child was too young for the drama club or not, I just handed the phone to my husband. As I said, I know my limitations. I could tell the conversation immediately got calmer, more reasonable, in a “Let's find a solution” kind of way. I am convinced that one of the great injustices of our world is that men can say things women can't. They command more respect, and when they say something, people are more inclined to believe them. I can't question the automechanic or request a parent/teacher conference without ticking someone off. My husband can come in with exactly the same wording, and people would nod sagely. I'm not irritated with him. It's not his fault. Still, without him, I'm pretty sure I'd be marked as that b*tchy person who can't just keep quiet. But 'nuff about that.
Drama club starts today! Woohoo! We're having tryouts this afternoon, and I'm really looking forward to it. (Kids don't care if you get goofy or are too loud, at least elementary age kids, the little darlins) We'll start out with the rules, don't talk when a director is speaking, be on time, et cetera. Then we'll move into inflection exercises, which are so much fun. You take a perfectly normal sentence, like, “I have to feed the dog,” and put emphasis on different words to change the emotion of the sentence. I have to feed the dog? I have to feed the dog! I have to feed the dog? It's fun, and it gets their little creative brains moving in a nonthreatening way. Then we'll go on to showing emotions with our bodies (kids love this one), elation, anger, sadness. All of these exercises are fun, and the kids hardly realize that they're being slowly drawn out to perform. By the time they do realize it, Hey Presto! Performing in front of your classmates isn't as bad as you thought.
Oh, and here's another exciting thing. I visited a rabbitry yesterday! Why, you ask? (Oh, I knew you were going to) Well, these little English Angora darlings now reside at our house. If they were any softer and cushier, you'd try to use them for a pillow. The kids think we got them for their 4-H group (heh heh). But you know who's going to get them when they go off to college, so this was an investment I was totally into. By the by, anyone want any angora bunny roving? I have a feeling we're going to have some...
At War With Himself
7 hours ago